((needs title)) pt.1 cycle

In a stir, I open my eyes
the light's too bright,
i swipe at the blinds

my mind's a-buzz
the moies is too loud
I feel strange and alone
what did i fall into now?

Oh good God above,
where am i at?
Oh God who's this at my side?

and last night, oh fright
the cycle
i can't remember, i clench a fist close to my side
is this what another great mistake feels like
all alone, dirty-
no excuse, no surety

1,2 oh what did i do?
3,4 I run out the door
5,6 there's a pain that sticks
7,8 this cycle's my fate
at 9 and 10 will i do it again?

and drink and fall and dine and die
with this guily and regret in every breath i take

they speak known words and voices
but no one's the same
the dance in and out
but we know the senses arent too tame

Where, oh where am i?
all alone, the same cycle goes on

i take a sip, this'll just be one
I chug a drug, one more wont hurt too much
there's the familiar sting in the back of my throat
the room's a swirl
with a laugh, a nervous giggle, it begins
a suggestion, the cycle
and what did i do?
I feel again, just waiting for a clarity i never had

(in") 1,2 what am i willing to do
(to) 3,4 pick my self off the floor
(because) 5,6 this high is more for the pain than the kicks
(at) 7,8 when will i get it straight?
and in the end of 9 and 10
who'll find me?
who'll stop me from begining again?

and i cry, and i groan
i sit myself up
the nights are full of frights,
and somethings i cant remember

stale alcohol and a dirty kiss
will death be enough?

so now i stare
at the bottle
do i dare?
who would care,
who would know
If today's the last regret i face?

~brittany


(( i wrote this to the tune of "me vs. maradonna vs. elvis" by brand new in my head, and got the 1,2 part from the song the gist os the tune. its a great song. pt.2 is gonna be looking up not like my other sad one, just havent written it yet. need an over all title please.

what did choo think so far?))

Limb torn Off

I could have fought harder
if i knew you were soon to go
I could have held you near to me
if i knew you'd have your heart broken
in ways i could never protect you from
I can
stop the speculation
and use thses hands of mine to clasp in prayer
as the world crumbles around me

Unsteadily, i move my fingers over
the scars put against your flesh
the remnants of your continuing struggles
Softly, i press my lips against
the wooden cross
and force my tears away
Standing, i now meet your eyes
the body may fail
but the soul hangs on

I could have fought harder
to get to know you more
I could have hale you near to me
to make sense of this pain,
that i feel in my chest because of yours
I can
scream and pray
and force the tears away
as your life slips slowly away from me

shakily, I whisper your name
are you still with me?
are you still a part of me?
quietly, i feel my heart leap
as your tired eyes open
as you whisper my name
laughing, i try to quell my hysteria
yes, you're still here
but for how much longer?

I could have fought harder
Oh God, guide me now
I could have held you near to me
Oh God what is it that i can ask for
so that this pain can go?
I can
pray for you, oh great young love,
pray for the time we never had
pray for those others in pain because of your hurt

Suddenly, i wake and reach for you
you frail hand clasps mine
reassuringly, I whisper your name
it has become my sole prayer
to Jesus, for you
afraid, i stay here still
I love you, i love you
they love you, they need you
God loves you, He has you in his hands

I could have fought harder
but that would have made no difference
I could have held you near to me
but, my love, He holds you in hands
that never let go, can never let go
I can
all i can do
is pray for you

and like a limb torn off,
like my heart wrenched out,
mangled and beaten upon the pavement,
I know you're still slipping away
and all we can do is hope,
and pray
and pray
and pray

and until then, i'll stay,
i'll whisper your name,
oh dear love, i will pray.

~brittany

((what do you think?))

been a while hasnt it?

(( so its been forever...wells i got nothing extra special planned, do a dance? nah im kinda drained thinking of ways to create a government type deal for my harry potter clubg...here's something of mine i found a while ago....it say's "Isaiah 52:3" randomly at the top...hmm why is that?))

Isaiah 52:3 (New International Version)
3 For this is what the LORD says:
"You were sold for nothing,
and without money you will be redeemed."

((here it iss))

Oh, she has skin as white as snow, lips as blue as the sea, and eyes darkened and wounded. She crawls upon painted glass, in pain her teeth gnash, there are scars upon her pearly back from a lash of perfect symmetry, within the world's hideous calling. What is she now? Bruised, broken, lost among in a veiled mask, her eyes are blinded with the dirtness of the world. the sea stings as it rises against her. Salt water lullabies steal her from the womb and she claws her way back. Searching for, she doesnt know what, searching for a Savior to dull the sting, searching for some unknown name to escape her lips and cause the world and the pain to leave her.




((seems like something i'd write right? haha right write hahaha..i dunno about it i imagined it in my head. dude i type slow. what choo think?))