Darkness has always been my light
a bitter laugh, full of little delight
my heart was always filled with holes
letting the cold in, i almost had it frozen
Silly girls spiked me on their trail
with their poisoned words and their lies they did impale
me
letting me alone, with only pain sown
i had died or almost left this earth
filled with an odd calm and unbidden mirth
many times
yet something always kept me here, something that gave me fear
i'd lay in my watery grave at night
tossing, turning, waiting to see that final light
not knowing why i lived
letting my hope fall to pieces, not knowing exactly what i needed
until a simple, sweet phrase was spoken to me
until a nervous smile on warm lips set me free
what is this warmth?
what is this creature here, and why do i want her near?
she would reach out to my form
and i found myself taking hold of her, finding myself warmed
she would grip my hand tight
out of darkness into sunlight
to be burned alive, out of the frosty caverns
she spilled out secrets with sloppy words
she tasted and i spoke and we both heard
the final thaw
my heart escaped the cold
to pump and rage and be beautifully bold
and like a sleepwalker in the audience,
jerked awake by circumstance,
i stood up in the stands
and she led me by the hands
to the stage, to this burning page
and on her lips i did sear-
on her heart i did make clear-
that i was here, i was alive
and as the final overture came to a close
i found myself living, life filling my holes
i found myself living
i found myself alive
i found myself needing
and wanting
and filling
i found myself.
~brittany
3/09/10
