sitting on my bed i looked over at the picture HN painted with her fingers during the begining of the summer when she came over to my house. i left her alone for like 3 minutes and came back and she had paint all over her face and hands and made a picture for me. its a mess of blue upon layers of purple, pink, white and some orange. she took a marker of mine and scrawled something in the corne "your up against the Blue, But all you see is clear." Now HN never had a thing for writing but she painted and drew. She looked to me and sometimes she said i had the words she could never say but always had felt. Upon relooking ath this picture before me i am smiling, a sad smile. she drew the birds. the birds i have been obsessing over for so long, she drew them. and a faint white mass on the picture that could be an abstract large white bird. but still the birds are there non the less. and this brings back sad and happy memories.
Summer was forever ago and she will never be the same to me. im still working on the bitterness i am feeling against her, against the hurt she has left me with. if i truely had her words, why did she hurt me so? who knows why people do the things they do
and maybe im overdramatizing a painted picture an old friend drew for me, maybe im squeezing symbolism out of something dried up, but thats not for understand and maybe its not for you to either.
no matter how much i analyzethese supposed archetypes in this work of hers, nothing has changed. perhaps one day they will
till then im still gonna write, im not gonna let what ever hurt me before bring me down now.
stay safe kid, and sleep sweet they say
i'll try and im fine
and right now i really am.
~brittany
3 comments:
such passion brittany. this is absolutly lovely. i already know what this is about from our talk the other night, but i am always there for you & when your ready to help reach out to her again, i'll be there for you too. bitterness is a horrible thing. i know that all too well myself. but once you let the uneasy anger go, once you let it leave your heart & mind.. your at such peace. its a beautiful release. & i'll be there for you with that too :)
girly, you got a friend in me, always, kay! xo
ps. & she is probably ready to have you back in her life as her friend too. like i said before, try to reach out to her parents first & then her. make it a slow process. i believe that it can truely be done & while you are growing so strong as this lovely young lady on your christian walk, this is a wonderful thing to have god help you along the way with this too. & perhaps being a witness to her(all over again, maybe. but it can be done!!)
<3
Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' – Matthew 22:37-39
Read it before.
Post a Comment