Saturday, October 18, 2008

And honestly

(this is gonna be about... something that has given birth into my heart kinda a thought sorting and a confession, its not about a person i have ever met personally.)

Shamefully i confess my love to this tall, pale, dark haired stranger. The sun's passed over his head almost twice as much as it has mine. Yet he's irrevocably stolen my heart. with his lips and pen he's cursed me to trail behind and pick up the pieces of his graceful beauty. He's tainted me so mercilessly with his voice that echos in every fiber of my being. his words, his poetry taunts me and throws me down and picks me up to repeat the dance. he has the radiating eyes that have burned a fire inside of me. and yes a few years ago i hated him more than i can explain. i hated his voice hated his mainstream songs i hated him for thinking of breaking up the creation, i hated the fact that i loved him more than i hated him. yes, ill admit perhaps it isnt love in the traditional sense, and i do not love him more than i love Jesus thats impossible- but no human has ever made me feel this way save for this man i have never met. and perhaps im putting him on a platform and judging all my other loves against him but hey, im a silly girl. a silly girl looking for a silly love that no one i know will ever be able to fill. and so i will wait. and lose my self in something that im terribly unsure of. and honestly this man whom i may never meet here on earth and wont meet beyond speaks words in volumes, he is the one that speaks the words i cant ever say. wont ever be able to say again. or with enough passion. what i lack he fills and i have never met him. and

what if i never meet someone who will fill that?



*sighs*
"Let me be all the words
Let me feel the words echo in comfort
Let me be all the words that you'd unsay
Let me feel the words echo in comfort, comfort, comfort, comfort
Let me be all the words that you'd unsay, unsay, unsay, unsay"
--he asked for it
lol now im being silly

~brittany

3 comments:

Kenneth Alexander said...

honest indeed.
A.F.I.

(Don't be too impressed I googled it lol)

Poems of Long Ago said...

funny thing, i definately relate.
its such a touchy subject with me.
i cant give you any advice really, besides pray about it. i know i
such as heck pray about it like
every 5mins nearly. sadly.. i could
be judgeing this all wrong & your
words are more metaphorical than
my understanding took it to be, but
if its what i think it is about
then all i can say is, i think its
a struggle for every good nice
girl. im noticing a pattern, a
trend. i dont worry about it so
much anymore as i do get upset at
the thought of it. its like i am
comdeming myself to be alone
forever. even with God.. to be
alone & not have love from family
friends or a wonderful & fitting
man.. if you life your whole life
with only Gods love, some might say
that is lucky. but i find it a hard
thought to grasp that emotion
fully. it saddens me alot.. i see
myself alone. i see myself
fulfilling a stupid dumb this
self-fullfilling prophecy for the
rest of my life because that is
just the way i see things. i have
love from friends for the first
time in my whole entire life. & i
can hardly understand that. why?
i am starting to even notice a
little love from my family too.
& i know that it is because i have
changed. & they see it. but its
heartbreaking too. because i dont
know how to treat it when it was
never there to begin with. its hard
to learn love so late in life. &
when i have all this love built
up inside of me from never being
able to give it out before or to
receive it.. its a new story for
me to tell. a new book in my life.
a new book that i am having trouble
understanding its meaning..

thats kinda off topic, but it sort
of relates. hope you dont mind me
leaving you a mini-novel lol.

SomedaySylas said...

overrated...