I am (in a moment)

I walk away from the greasy scent of my childhood
what a liar am i
with such diseased lips i speak
speaking naught but dishonest sentiments
yes, I am a bad man

I sipped cheap wine before my judges
I threw back hard poisons in the presence of my only enemy
I threw myself against my bars
I am my own enemy
and I wont let myself love Him
Im letting my enemy win

I crawled to the Sanctuary
but I'll never allow my self to believe
Feeling alone, now more than ever
this hatred is hollowing me

I pulled out a gun, reminding me of a past i cant escape
I hugged the cold metal close to my chest
(i'm a bad man)
I crack my head against the wall
(im a bad man)
dry sobs heave in my chest
(im a bad man)
I know I'll never allow His love in
(Im a sad man)
I know the lack of His love is something i may regret
I fear His love so
(im a sad man)

And in a moment im free
In a moment I realized how much of His love I needed
In a moment I realized this moment is too late

~brittany (got the idea on the way to math class today)
(watchoo think?)