Soldier Suicides

i am a soldier
and i am a martyr
i am a killer
and i am a human
i am a lover
and i am imperfect

I am a soldier
defending my country
I stand on the front line-
i point my gun at my enemy
I never surrender, I-
I never surrender.
Because

I am a killer
sweating down to my core
I stand with my gun poised,
laughing at they run
I never surrender
and i am a human
losing more of me everyday
i shoot the gun unmercilessly at my enemy
I never surrender, I-
I never surrender.
Because

I am a lover
missing your sweet lips
I stand with longing rushing through me
i hold to the promises i made to my mother
I point the gun
I never surrender
and i am imperfect
hypocrisy ringing through me
as i shoot to kill my enemy
I never surrender, I-
i never surrender.
because

I am a soldier
and i am the martyr,
i am a killer
and i am a human,
i am a lover
and i am imperfect

my mind plays tricks on me
my longings and fears taunt me,
they tell me i am a coward
that I'll never admit
I am my enemy.

~Brittany