Out My Window

there is a light shone
in the forest
like a beating-breathing flame
i stare out of my window
and i wish i was there
and you were near
will i be carried away?

In the forest
you are the creature
haunting me in the day
and being my comfort in the night
you are everywhere
how could it be?
will i be weighed down
or be carried away?

Out of my window
the wind and snow beat hard down
and i stare
paralyzed
longing to greet more than your shadow
i long to dance
with you over there and here
and everywhere

and as the snow falls
i see the flame blow out
and i find myself running
i am running
overthere
to where you are

this december is so cold
the snow has soaked me to the bone
and my heart fails
as i fall to my knees
You're frozen
laying in the snow
i need to get you back


You were the song of my heart
wafting in and out of my window
you were the flame
that gave me life


i beat at your chest
my tears, icy cold, staining my face
and your eyes are blank
staring up at me

and in my dreams
you haunt me there
your screams

the terror of my heart
i miss you
miss your warmth
i want you to come home

staring out of my window
i say my prayers through
a broken heart
and with the last word
i look
and i see a flame out there

there was a light shone
out of my window
and i ran, way out there
and for forever
we got carried away
~brittany
11/03/09


((...makes me think about christmas time. had a story in my head of a girl staring out her window and seeing a flame of a fire in the woods surrounding her house in the snow and is mesmerized by it and finds out about a boy who lives out there. he like works odd jobs for her father's company and she cant stop thinking about him: what was his story? was he warm out there? does he have enough to eat? and she leaves out food and like blankets on her porch at night and in the morning they're gone and she gets sick or hurt or something and he gets blamed and her parentsfire him and stuff and that night she wakes from a night mare and sees a bad snowstorm going on outside and sees that his flame, the one she stares at everynight that lull her to sleep is blown out, but she knows he is out there. and she impulsively almost crazed, she runs out there to him and finds him dying in the snow. she realizes how much of a conection she has with him and cant have him die. does he end up living? does she live? is there a happy ever after or something darker? i dunno, my mind hasnt revealed the end to me yet...))

The Monster

I felt you animate me
after countless days and nights,
as the seasons changed,
i felt you create me

with frenzied, gnarled fingers
you stitched me together
you selected my organs
every single one...
you kept me preserved-
kept me as fresh as a dead man could be
oh passionate fool

surgically cutting limbs off dead unknown people
the nameless to create this monster
i am nameless all the same
your eyes, they shined
by the flourescent light looming overhead
your body, grew sickeningly pale
unhealthily, you sought to create me

at your passion's utter
irrevocable climax
the earth in all its wretched glory,
froze
as life, in some mangled form,
surged into me
and i opened my eyes for the first time to

watch your face turn to horror
as you struck me down
as you fled from me

dazed, alone, i was
stumbling in the darkness
groping in the lab, searching for home
i couldnt stand
i couldnt speak
i moaned, i hungered, i felt ripped to pieces
why, oh creator, did you flee from me?
what sin was i?

....
~brittany

((..because of reading Frankenstein in ap literature and comp. and watching the silly movie where every one is doing their sister :P...))

Bear

with
vicious teeth
to crack my skull
you smile at me
with
guttural roars
that paralyze
you speak to me

oh great Bear
you enter into my cave
and you tear me apart

with
sleepy eyes
as the winter nears
you look at me,
and see right through me
am i so transparent?
with
a stomach full
of bitter and tart fruit
to last you through the winter,
you pull me into your arms-
could i ever be cold in them?

oh great Bear
how i fear your majesty
you fill me with a symphony
of sounds to lull me asleep

a sleep that takes everything out of me
am i so vulnerable in your arms?

with
violent hands
you lift me up
and i pray to God you wont let me fall
with
silent eyes
you stare at me
how i wish you'd speak

oh great Bear
i never want to lose this shelter
i never want to lose you
i'm terrified that when winter comes,
you'll leave me alone in the snow
take me on this path with you
into the cave, keep me in your arms
keep me warm

Oh great Bear
my realized weakness is killing me
oh great Bear
My Bear,
please dont hurt me.

~brittany

weirdo
11-4-09