Dear Brittany

(2/13/2009)

Everyday has been endless,
and to be honest, i feel breathless
but my mind's saying
that im all the more stronger
from the loss

And to the person you know i miss:
i hate hating her
and to the person you know i see every week:
i hate knowing he's right.
I have no excuses,
I dont even try to fight
anymore.

Everyday has been soulless
and to be honest, i feel weaker
i am a robot with rusted hinges
and an out of date program

My senses are playing tricks on me,
drudging up familiar scents
when at most they're the death of me.

And to you,
im sick of seeing you
im sick of thinking
sick of waiting to be me again
I have no excuses,
i dont even fight it
anymore.

everyday has been endless
and to be honest i still feel lifeless
and i hate my hands
which can perfectly describe how i feel
and leave me empty

She said:
"If this is love,
than i want no part of it."
and it took me a while to realize
that she was me

Endless, endless
why do my days feel so Godless?
endless, endless
When Christ is in me?

And will you help me recognize
that they arent endless?
one day will we see,
that we are alive,
one day
will we feel alive?

will Christ be the life of me?
because God knows im dead right now.

~brittany

(( wrote it during the Ventures movie night...)