this will be short i hope, its pretty late and i wanna catch some zz's welll enough into the night so that i stop feeling tired every single day. every single day it's hard. hard to continue. i watch my world slowly slip away, losing my sanity and this game and i cant help but hope for some way to wake up. and i pray. to be honest im not sure if i have prayed for me to snap out of this waking dream life yet. im not sure if i want reality to hit me just yet. it sucks and i dont want to deal, but also i dont wanna fall apart completely, at least not so late in the game. some would say it's early but i've gotta tell you, i have been around for almow 17 years and i havent seen much change. and im fearful to think that i have hit my peak, but who knows? do you see me? i sit off to the side, a part, but only just so. do you see me? quiet, lost in thought, not wanting to speak yet feeling so alien if i dont. human contact is so tedious. and yet so neccessary. i cant stand it. give me a hope, i pray and i get amazed by God. but its this world that i want no part of. i want to travel the world, as if i were a lost deity, watching, observing, and never really being a part of. and yet yet so in love with these people.
do i need to be compassonate? yes. pity is for the weak. who knows.
all of history is based on class struggles. woo hoo go marx.
and im dying. inside and out. let's throw a party and act like teenage girls and throw strangers dirty looks.
let's.
let's
...
let's not and say that we did live. for real. once, long ago...
~brittany
3 comments:
.. interesting indeed.
i was not trying to throw you a dirty look. brittany said something nice about you & i was contemplating the thought & you just happened to look at me when i was still looking in your direction & you caught me off guard that i noticed you had seen me. just fyi for your text. my phone is broken; cracked the screen.
interesting thoughts though. i relish in your postings.
lol i was mad that i got the text at 2:30 in the morning, i need my sleep. and i kinda got the vibe that brittany didnt much care for me i dunno i may be wrong.
lol all im sayin is, half asleep brittany is more meaner than fully awake, fully functioning brittany, she's scary (me in third person btw)
thank you. ((-bows out slowly and tries not to trip...))
change comes with time
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