This Flesh Was Meant to be Tamed

This Flesh
was formed out of clay
molded by Everlasting Hands
and placed onto the earth

This Flesh
was selfish
and chose to sin,
chose depravity over beauty

This Flesh
is meant to be
tamed
it was never meant
for earthly indulgence

This Flesh
is meant to be exhausted,
drained of all energy,
tightened and mastered

Indulgence,
like a poison,
fattens the Flesh
Sexual depravity
corrodes the soul
as it invades the Flesh

And this Flesh,
i am master over
each and every disgusting bit
This Flesh
will not be given to indulgence
or the obesity of a depraved America
This Flesh
will be tamed

will be stretched,
shrunk,
denied,
molded....

whipped and tortured

Until the daylight strikes it
and the soul leaves it
This Flesh will go back to clay
as withered and dry
as the soul is taken up
by Everlasting Hands
where it can't be hurt

Before the day comes
This Flesh was meant to be tamed
and into bloody, emaciated
clay,
i will grind it.
~brittany
7/27/10

(( my view on insecurities...))

Carpe Noctem

I fell into the night
like a dirty sin
i fell into it
and couldn't willingly take myself out of it

i fell into your tempter's kiss,
locked lips with the devil,
tasted your poison,
felt my soul go into an ice cold shock,
and went to hell because of it

This Daylight Dancer that i am
fell hard into the cold
wallowed in your murky depths
grew pale in the moonlight

And you, my cold devil,
i fell in love with
"come, come with me" i offered
to heal your broken soul
but, full of fear and without glancing back
you turned, disappeared
and you threw me away,
like soiled rags
i was tossed back into day

in my weakness i long for you still,
i long for your icy caresses
and your violent love
in the daylight, i am alone
and i shy away from the shadows
like some kind of penance

so that i will never see you again
and never hold onto your cold again

i fell into the night
carpe noctem, carpe noctem
i was encased in your cold
and i never wanted to leave
but you threw me out
carpe noctem
carpe noctem
but this Daylight soul that i am
seemed never meant to have it

The sun glares down on me
in anger for ever straying
the wind chills me to my core
a constant reminder of you and i
and how terribly i miss you still
"carpe noctem" like some sick joke i tell my self
"carpe noctem," and watch it take your heart and tear it to bits
"carpe noctem"
and feel the cold break you down

how i miss you still, oh devil,
and your sweet lips-
My greatest sin
and my coldest love.

~brittany
6/27/10

Carpe Diem

I deal in secrets
and in the light of you kiss
I almost spilled them from my lips
I am alive in violence
and when your warm hands caressed my chest
my heart burned and shied away from it
my body is like the wind
and i let you fall through my embrace,
This is one Dancer i cannot beat
and so i will hide myself from you

My addiction is slowly winning
My drug scorches my flesh
in the light if this strange day,
i am blackened by it
"come, come with me" i remember you saying
offering to heal me
But in my fear i ran away
to protect myself from you
Yet, even now, my thoughts are caged by your sweet name
by your sickening warmth
and while i deprive myself from you
my masochistic memories replay all of you,
for me
tearing me apart over and over again

Carpe diem, carpe diem
my heart screams
my soul longs
but, deranged, i deny myself
stifling my heart's voice

carpe diem
carpe diem
seize the one who makes you alive!

I deal in secrets
and not in the light of day
Strange it seems
that my once greedy hands
refrain from taking you as mine
I am alive in violence
and in this masochistic night that i dwell in
I cannot embrace your daylight too

I deny myself of you
and continue to live my life without your light and your warmth
and your love

i deal in secrets
and, like a dying corpse,
i hide in the dark ground
like the wind, i am with you
unseen, fleeting
longing to hold you
longing for carpe diem
but this noctem
will never allow it.

~brittany
6/27/10