Carpe Diem

I deal in secrets
and in the light of you kiss
I almost spilled them from my lips
I am alive in violence
and when your warm hands caressed my chest
my heart burned and shied away from it
my body is like the wind
and i let you fall through my embrace,
This is one Dancer i cannot beat
and so i will hide myself from you

My addiction is slowly winning
My drug scorches my flesh
in the light if this strange day,
i am blackened by it
"come, come with me" i remember you saying
offering to heal me
But in my fear i ran away
to protect myself from you
Yet, even now, my thoughts are caged by your sweet name
by your sickening warmth
and while i deprive myself from you
my masochistic memories replay all of you,
for me
tearing me apart over and over again

Carpe diem, carpe diem
my heart screams
my soul longs
but, deranged, i deny myself
stifling my heart's voice

carpe diem
carpe diem
seize the one who makes you alive!

I deal in secrets
and not in the light of day
Strange it seems
that my once greedy hands
refrain from taking you as mine
I am alive in violence
and in this masochistic night that i dwell in
I cannot embrace your daylight too

I deny myself of you
and continue to live my life without your light and your warmth
and your love

i deal in secrets
and, like a dying corpse,
i hide in the dark ground
like the wind, i am with you
unseen, fleeting
longing to hold you
longing for carpe diem
but this noctem
will never allow it.

~brittany
6/27/10