Crossfire

I find that my heartbeats
too easily out number the stars
overhead.
Polluted by light,
I cannot even count one
in the sky.
He spoke of freedom
through a sinner's soul,
laced in alcohol,
he moved mountains to find me whole
And I,
with all my beliefs
and my convictions,
with my God
and my dreams,
am at a loss
I don't know who's footsteps
to follow

So I try to blend,
to mold myself into the dirt
making the compromises that you
could never know
would never understand

He brought me into the
world of yellow birds
and swam with me into
the drowning waters
and showed me the
shadowy man watching overhead
Out of his voice
poured words that crushed me,
that gave me a new home.

Out on the road,
like his destined soul
is where my heart hides
nestled with him in the backseat
of an old broken down van
shivering, the weather's so unforgiving
as we hug our thoughts
and shoulder our dreams like a cross

But my God,
I am to live with Him
for Him,
my soul belongs in His hands-
and while my broken hearted crooner
wraps his arms around me,
whispering the words of my heart-
I still am a child of His

so I'm caught
in the crossfire
of who i need to be
and who i long to be
In the battlefield,
I have dug myself a hole
i have planted myself in the middle
of compromises enough to save my soul
and to keep my heart whole.
~Brittany
10/07/10