Didn't you know? I'm in love with you.

Recently, I've been
living off of stale
sonnets and out of tune
guitars, wishing I
had the balls,
long ago,
to tell you how much
of myself belonged to
you.

Damn you, you're
like this parasite
that latches onto
my heart and has
begun to drain me dry

lately my mind's
been made up of
sour coffee and
breath mints to hide
my raw throat,
my burning insides
as I dream of
the days when I had
you in my gaze.

Oh my soul, every memory of you
is sick, is sweet,
is tainted by
the fact that
they're just memories

nowadays I use
cough syrup and gravel
to hide my broken
voice box.
my broken time machine
made up of every word
I said, not to have you
stay, but to cut you off
and push you away.

and wouldn't you know,
you had other places to go
to leave me behind,
herein this grind of
flesh against teeth,
flesh against flesh,
flesh against concrete.

Didn't you know?
You had my soul.
Didn't you know?
I'm in love with you.
and pushing you away
was the easiest thing to do.
~brittany
2/3/11