If I fall, will you let me down easy?

I felt like I was
channeling you today.
Or, rather, the old you
with my cold heart
and my callous words,
I felt today

like I was almost
sinking down into my grave
I wished you were
with me
I whispered it into
the lonely breeze
as I followed your old
footsteps back into
that old, cancerous
hole.

You and I are
no more, you see?
It breaks my heart
real easy, when I remember how
you left and how I stayed

to face the cold season
alone, fighting by myself
against the abuses
of the sea, of the sky,
of the soul,

I'm flying to high
now, easy
Don't look too close,
I'm no longer pretty
my lungs are tar,
my lips are blue
and I swear to God
if you call the cops
we're damned through
and through

Your eyes don't
recognize me anymore,
I know I've been
disfigured by what
I've become,
but all I've learned
has been by what
you've done.

But, baby, I'm not
strong like you are
It's not as easy
for me to rebound from
the highs,
and how great are the falls,
I just loved you so much
oh how I had waited for your call...
and in these highs,
it's not the hard to please me
but
if i fall,
will you let me down easy?
~brittany
2/3/11